Other People’s Diets

OPDs (frequently referred to as Other People’s Diets) are the absolute worst for several reasons.

• OPDs make you feel like you too should be dieting.

Let’s be real when you hear about your cousin Jennifer’s keto diet success at the Easter party, you go home and google “keto diet” in a frenzy of new hope. If Jennifer can do it, so can you.

• OPDs make them more interesting.

You wonder, as you listen to them share what they are doing, why you too are not motivated to follow through with a diet like this? What do they know that you don’t? How do they have the willpower you don’t?

• OPDs sound doable.

Every diet is doable for the first 5 months (or less) if you have a ton of motivation, guilt, shame, unhappiness and concern about your weight/health. But somehow, when someone you know describes their diet success, it seems like a long term viable solution. And it gets your diet wheels spinning.

I used to be that (really annoying) person. The one who talked about weight loss and diets ad nauseum. Talking about it somehow made the deprivation easier. It gave me a little reward when the person was forced to compliment me for losing weight. Or ask me how I was doing it. I could've talked about it for hours.

Here’s the problem though. When my WW meeting attendance slowed down, and the weigh-ins stopped showing losses, my conversations came to a slow, sad halt.

I felt shame for not being able to stick with my diet through vacation, and not getting back on the wagon when I got home from vacation. That didn’t seem very exciting to bring up in conversation. It is not as fun to share failure and defeat. Other People’s Diets are not all they're cracked up to be. You might not have the inside scoop on what's going on for them on the inside.

OPDs are painful because they represent something to you. They represent success, purpose and goal setting. They represent being “on track.” But here’s the thing, this diet that they are on, this extreme workout plan to run a 5k when they absolutely abhor running, it will all sooner or later come to a screeching halt if they're motivated by weight loss, an unattainable body and other people’s attention.

And if you were to go on a diet for any of those reasons, yours would too.

We need to get real with ourselves in the midst of these conversations. We know intentional weight loss endeavors don’t work and that 95% of the time, the people trying to lose a lot of weight just end up gaining it back.

So, how can you respond kindly without spiraling down the diet hole yourself?

Be a supportive, kind person. That’s it. It is not your job to change their mind or convince them of anything. It is your job to remind them that you don’t care whether or not they lose weight or have a smokin’ bod, you care about their heart and soul. You care about their happiness. You care about that person knowing they are loved, understood and heard.

If you need a list of practical responses, look no further:

Has Someone You Love Recently Lost Weight?

Thanks for thinking about this with me. Undieting our minds is hard work, but it is worth it.