What Are You Weighting For?

Trying to lose weight is often a solution to a problem that isn’t about weight.

We think that if we lose weight we will:

• Desire to be more social

• Be more attractive to the opposite sex

• Feel better about ourselves

• Feel freer and more comfortable

• Live longer

• Make healthier food choices

• Feel healthier and be healthier

• Find clothes that we like easily

The truth is that if we were the perfect weight we would:

• Still desire alone time

• Still dread certain social events

• Still be insecure about our bodies in front of the opposite sex

• Still feel crappy about ourselves

• Still feel like we are holding back

• Still not be able to control the exact length of our life

• Still be worried about our health

• Still struggle to find clothes we like easily

It’s not about the weight. There is more going on. And if you never give yourself a chance to figure out the root of your unhappiness, restlessness, and lack of fulfillment you will never feel better.

Weight loss is a cheap lie we are sold. It is quick and easy like the dollar section at Target. Does it feel good to give in and buy into it, yes, of course. Does the good feeling last? No. That rush of hope, success, and good feelings we have during the first week of a diet or endeavor that includes rules around when you eat, what you eat and how many calories you burn….it goes away. Every. Single. Time. Leaving you more lost than before. If it worked long term, I’d be a monster not to encourage you to use it as a blanket solution to all your problems.

But it.does.not.work.

Instead of purposely attempting to lose weight to solve your problems:

Consider the one important thing you imagine would be better in your life when you lose weight and start to work on achieving that goal right away at your current weight. Make it your top priority. Be willing to spend the same money on it that you would a new diet.

Example:

“One thing that I think would happen when I lose weight is that I would desire to be more social.”

Ways to get busy achieving that goal:

1. Text four friends that you haven’t messaged in a while a quick” hello!”

2. Make a goal to make AND KEEP plans with one of them for coffee or a walk.

3. Record how you feel about the meeting before (nervous, excited, joyful-whatever) and then record how you feel about the meeting after (be sure to include whether or not you regretted being social due to your weight or if it turned out to be fun anyway).

4. Consider a second goal- who are the people you want to spend time with and what do you want to spend time doing with them?

5. Remember how you felt before and after your first goal attempt at being more social. Be compassionate if you were still self conscious about your weight. It’s ok you felt that way.

6. Make another micro goal that includes socializing in a way you think could be fun.

7. Keep noticing if you enjoy these activities after it is all said and done- even if you haven’t lost any weight.

Let’s start taking back the power that diet culture, the life thief, has stolen. It's ok that it has had so much power in your life up to this point. Don't shame yourself for it. But now it's time to move on. You deserve to enjoy the gift of your life today, not after you've lost ten pounds.

Thanks for thinking about this with me.