Don’t Diet While Pregnant But Watch Your Weight (and other horrible advice)

For some bizarre reason I thought that people would stop making comments on the size of my waist or my arms after my wedding day. They did- those four months were fabulous! Until the day I shared that I was pregnant with our first daughter. Then the advice and comments came pouring in from every side, sending off hazard lights all over my brain.

So grateful for each of my children. Not so grateful for the lack of support for pregnant/postpartum moms out there.

Here are ten things I heard from medical professionals during/after pregnancy with my 3 children:

1. Don’t diet when you are pregnant.

2. Don’t worry too much about your weight, just keep an eye on it.

3. Watch your weight while pregnant.

4. Have you been craving ice cream lately? You gained a lot of weight since last check up.

5. Wow! Great job keeping your weight down.

6. Have you ever heard of an elliptical?

7. The more you gain, the longer it will take you to lose.

8. Some people don’t need to gain any weight during pregnancy and it is still healthy!

9. You shouldn’t really gain any weight at all in the first trimester.

10. Try to gain about twenty pounds or less.

Those are comments from medical professionals- specifically OBGYNs. I am not writing a book, or I would offer the comments I received from well meaning family, friends, relatives, acquaintances, people who saw me at Mass, coworkers, and of course, every pregnant woman’s favorite, strangers.

“Hello cashier at Kroger, yes I would love for you to evaluate the size of my waist right now and decide whether or not the size makes you think it is a boy or a girl.”

“Gee, I can’t wait until this happens again soon,” I think to myself, delighted by the extra attention on my waist.

Anyway.

It always seemed oddly funny to me when my doctor explained how I needed to be healthy and watch my weight but NEVER diet. What does that even mean? I just kept tracking my points for WW and figured I was doing something very dangerous and absolutely medically necessary at the same time. I needed to eat like I was dieting without dieting.

But the doctors always seemed to indicate it was simple.

It did not feel simple.

So yeah, it was really, really stressful, all 3 times. And I gained over 40 pounds each pregnancy. I’d look at my postpartum body and feel guilty that my children had a mom that had such an “unhealthy” looking body (I wasn’t really

concerned about my health, I was concerned about my weight). Postpartum pregnancy photos always sealed the deal of my mental health plummet Every single time, I looked like I had Just. Had. A. Baby. Horrifying, I know. How dare my body not shrivel into itself ten days after the baby’s arrival!

I am so glad I am out of this type of thinking. Many days my thoughts of body hatred and size fears nearly swallowed me whole. But it’s behind me, and I want it to be behind you too.

So what advice should we be giving pregnant and postpartum women?

Maybe none?

There’s an argument to be made that women should know the harmful effects of some foods for the health of the baby, and I think within reason that is 100% ok. Beyond that, please stop talking about women’s weight when they are pregnant.

Do bloodwork, do ultrasounds, screen for possible issues, protect the baby and mom but please stop perpetuating an obsession with how we look, our size, and our weight during pregnancy.

*Sometimes there is a concern with water retention during pregnancy- and it is fine for your doctor to request to weigh you especially in the last trimester. You can ask them to make absolutely no comments about your weight to you though.*

If you’d like advice about how to share your concerns about talking about weight, I am here friends! Reach out to Kate at katemunhallweber@gmail.com and I can help you prepare for a great conversation with your medical care team. They will learn a lot and you will have a “weight off your back!”