In a culture practically consumed by being politically correct, you would be shocked at what people have said to me about my seven year old daughter.
She can eat anything! Look at her!
This statement is said after they watch my daughter eat her 3rd slice of pizza, or whatever amount of food has made them feel uncomfortable or surprised. I have also heard this said after they watch me “let” her grab 3 cookies for her plate instead of one. It’s almost as if the person I am speaking with is trying to comfort me. Don’t worry about this, she will be ok because she is thin. They assume that any parent would be concerned.
2. She can wear whatever she wants!
This statement implies that because of her body she has permission to wear the clothes she likes whenever she wants. And don’t get me wrong, she wears an eclectic mix of athleisure and formal wear (often together). So I get why people are saying something, but still they are letting me know I can sit there relieved, her body will only be looked at positively, no matter what she wears. Reinforcing negative stereotypes about how only certain women can wear whatever they want.
Is she a gymnast? She looks like one!
This statement reveals that gymnasts all look somewhat similar, even by the ripe age of 7. I mean if there is a sport out there that has eliminated body diversity by age 7, watch as I back slowly away and never return because I am scared for my life. By age seven, most kids haven’t learned the basics of most popular sports. They are just starting to learn how to hit a golf ball or do a cartwheel. Please don’t assign her body type to a sport. She has only been in this world for 7 years and also, no she isn’t a gymnast. She’s just a normal kid.
Somehow among all the buzz of politically correct hyperconsciousness around race, politics, and religion, my daughter’s body is still fair game for conversation and evaluation. These comments (which she hears and asks questions about) are absolutely not benign. They are setting her up for a lifetime of cognitive dissonance.
They are setting her up for a lifetime of associating her size, which will change, adjust, fluctuate, with her freedom.
These comments will impact her- through and through. When she inevitably gains weight, changes porportions
and loses the look that garners all these comments- what will she be left to think about who she is? What she can wear? What sports are ok to participate in?
What are your stories? What comments have others made about your child’s body or your body that have perpetrated an ongoing perception of food and body freedom that applies only to thin girls? How have these comments impacted you and those you love over time?