Stop Saying " I Did Good Today!"

Am I doing good or doing bad?

Consider being open to not thinking of yourself as “doing good” or “doing bad” in relation to food and exercise. Consider not remembering your life in a sequence of being “on track” or “off track.” This is part of diet culture’s allure. You imagine yourself “doing good” and “feeling good” every day and that. Is. Not. Reality. For. Anyone. You imagine you future problemless thin self bouncing around joyfully from job to dinner to fun weekend plans. And then when you fail your diet (and, I hate to say this, but you probably will) your entire vision comes crashing in on itself.

You are doing gray.

If you think in terms of “good” vs “bad” about your eating and body that is called black and white thinking, and it is one of several cognitive distortions diet culture teaches us. A cognitive distortion is a thought pattern that causes someone to perceive reality inaccurately. Although it certainly feels accurate, it’s not. We engage in cognitive distortions frequently (don’t worry, it’s normal).

Black and white thinking is simpler and we like simple. Life, as all of us know, is not simple and neither is our relationship to our bodies. Life is almost always gray- a mix of good, bad, happy, sad, everything all mixed together.

Let’s practice being gray.

The food we eat when we are “doing bad” is still food, and it is still keeping our body alive.

The food we eat when we are “doing bad” still has some nutritional qualities (like necessary carbohydrates to keep our brain functioning).

When you were “doing good” you spent most of your day thinking about your diet/ body/weight/food. That’s really not your goal, you would like to think about other things.

Your life was not perfect when you were thinner. Other things were going on that were hard.

You had happy moments even when you “gained weight” or in your “bigger size pants.”

You ran when you were thinner, and you can still run now (try it, you can run for thirty seconds).

You have still had fun weekend plans while “doing bad.”

You have never actually “joyfully bounced around” anywhere.

How can I start thinking gray?

Start finding times when you look at something or someone as ALL or NOTHING, GOOD or BAD, TERRIBLE or WONDERFUL and try to reframe it in your head as being a little of both. See how the reframe helps you to spiral a little less and feel a little more balanced. Maybe even a little more mentally flexible.

It might be easier if you leave your body and food out of it for a minute.

Listen friend, wherever you are at with your body and your relationship to food, I want you to know at this moment as you read this that your thoughts, feelings, and even fears around this topic are valid. Your concerns are real, and you deserve a good, stress free relationship with food and your body.

Always here, cheering you on in this journey! Thanks for thinking about this with me.